LAST TIME VELOCIRAPTOR TALK ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL AMERICA COUNTRY SHOULD USE MEATS INSTEAD OF MONIES, BUT TODAY VELOCIRAPTOR SPEAK OF EVEN MORE PRESSING ISSUE.
WHAT IS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
EVIDENTLY THIS HAVE BEEN A THING FOR A WHILE NOW, AND HUMAN OPINIONS ARE AS WIDE AND VARIED ABOUT THIS THING AS HUMAN OPINIONS ARE WIDE AND VARIED ABOUT EVERY OTHER THING EVER.
THEY ARE CALLED "MANBUNS" AS IT SEEMS. WHEN VELOCIRAPTOR HEAR THIS WORD, "MANBUN," THE PICTURE IN VELOCIRAPTOR'S HEAD IS THE ONLY LOGICAL ONE THAT COULD ARRIVE TO THE INSIDE OF A NOGGIN OF A LOGICAL BEING:
IF VELOCIRAPTOR IS BEING HONEST THIS IS
HOW HE SEE HUMANS MOST OF THE TIME
OF COURSE WHEN VELOCIRAPTOR ASK HIS NEIGHBOR RAMONE WHO IS HAIRDRESSER WHAT HE THINK OF WHEN HEAR "MANBUNS," RAMONE GIVE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANSWER.
BUT VELOCIRAPTOR DIGRESSES.
AS VELOCIRAPTOR HEAR, SOME PEOPLE LOOK AT MANBUN AND SAY, "YES, THIS THING LOOK GOOD ON MY HEAD." OTHER PEOPLES ARE LOOKING AT PEOPLE WITH MANBUNS ON THEIR HEAD AND ARE SAYING, "YOUR APPEARANCE IS SIMILAR TO THAT OF A HUMAN THAT IS FOOLISH." THE FIRST PEOPLE ARE TAKING PHOTOS OF THEIR MANBUNS WHILE DOING A "CROSSFIT," THEY TELL VELOCIRAPTOR, OR DOING A "VEGAN" (WHICH HUMANS EXPLAIN CONCEPT TO VELOCIRAPTOR OF "VEGAN" BUT VELOCIRAPTOR IS STILL ALMOST SURE IS JOKE.)
SO CURIOUS INTERNET HUMANS ARE PROBABLY SAYING TO SELVES, "BUT WHAT DOES VELOCIRAPTOR THINK OF EXCITING NEW DEVELOPMENT IN HUMAN FASHION?"
IT REMIND VELOCIRAPTOR OF SCRAWNY MAMMALS THAT SURVIVED METEOR BLAST THAT KILLED VELOCIRAPTOR'S RELATIVES.
VELOCIRAPTOR MISS ALL RELATIVES.
EXCEPT PHIL. GOOD RIDDANCE, COUSIN PHIL
AND HIS TENDENCY TO LEAVE DROPPINGS DIRECTLY OUTSIDE OF VELOCIRAPTOR'S CAVE.
YES, IT IS TRUE. VELOCIRAPTOR DOES NOT LIKE "MANBUNS."
HUMAN READERS MAY ASK VELOCIRAPTOR, "BUT WHY IS VELOCIRAPTOR CARING ABOUT HUMAN FASHION WHEN VELOCIRAPTOR WALK AROUND NAKED?"
TO WHICH VELOCIRAPTOR RESPOND, BEAUTIFUL SCALY VELOCIRAPTOR HAVE TO SEE UGLY PINK MONKEYS ON INTERNET ALL DAY, WHY MAKE VELOCIRAPTOR'S SUFFERING WORSE?
MAMMAL-CENTRAL CULTURE IN BEAUTIFUL AMERICA SOMETIMES MAKE VELOCIRAPTOR SICK. HUMANS SHOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TO THE DINOSAUR MINORITY, AND WEAR DINOSAUR HAIR.
VELOCIRAPTOR GOOGLED "DINOSAUR HAIR" AND WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.
THANKFULLY, VELOCIRAPTOR REMEMBER WHEN "CARGO SHORTS" WERE ALSO A THING THAT HUMANS WORE ON REGULAR BASIS. SUCH IS NOT SO NOW, AND HUMANITY HAS ESCAPED SUCH DARK TIMES. VELOCIRAPTOR CAN ONLY HOPE THAT SUCH IS THE CASE WITH THE MANBUN.
