THIS MORNING WHEN VELOCIRAPTOR WAKE UP AND START ROUTINE (BRUSH FANGS, GET MAIL FROM MAILMAN, DEVOUR MAILMAN, DRINK COFFEE), VELOCIRAPTOR DECICE TO VISIT NEIGHBOR. SO VELOCIRAPTOR TALK TO NEIGHBOR-LADY RUTH. LADY RUTH IS NICE SENIOR CITIZEN WHO ALMOST AS OLD AS VELOCIRAPTOR (65 MILLION YEARS). RUTH KNOW HER STUFF.
VELOCIRAPTOR ASK RUTH-LADY WHAT IS POPULAR AMONG HUMANS IN THESE MODERN DAYS. RUTH-HUMAN SAYS, "I'm not quite sure, but last I head, 'manscaping' was a big thing."
MANSCAPING???
NOW, VELOCIRAPTOR IS OLD-FASHIONED. IN MANY WAYS, VELOCIRAPTOR PREFER TRADITIONAL THINGS. SO WHEN TOLD ABOUT MANSCAPING, VELOCIRAPTOR INITIALLY RELUCTANT.
BUT VELOCIRAPTOR HAVE OPEN-MIND, AND VELOCIRAPTOR HAS COME TO FOLLOWING CONCLUSION:
IF PERSON DESIRES TO LANDSCAPE THEIR YARD WITH MANS, IT IS NONE OF VELOCIRAPTOR'S BUSINESS, AND VELOCIRAPTOR SHALL BE ACCEPTING.
AND HERE WE SEE A PLANTED MAN-SAPLING BLOOMING INTO MATURITY
SOON IT SHALL SPROUT DELICIOUS SHEDDINGS
IN MODERN WORLD, IT ONLY MAKES SENSE WHY HUMANS WISH TO LANDSCAPE THEIR HOMES WITH MANS, CONSIDERING OTHER YARD-ADORNMENT OPTIONS. WHO WANT PLANTS? AZALEAS AND FERNS BORING AS CRAP.
BORING AS CRAP
WHO NEED CRAPPY FLOWERS WITH THEIR PHOTOSYNTHESIS AND WHATNOT
RECEIVING NUTRIENTS FROM SUNLIGHT AND NOT FROM DEVOURING FLESH OF WEAKER BEINGS
LIKE THE WAY RAPTOR-BUDDHA INTENDED.
AND DO NOT EVEN GET VELOCIRAPTOR STARTED ON GARDEN GNOMES.
GARDEN GNOME? MORE LIKE GARDEN GNO.
NO, LANDSCAPING YARD WITH MEN MAKE MUCH SENSE. THINK OF ALL KINDS OF VARIETY AVAILABLE TO HOMEOWNERS. PUT ROW OF SENATORS ALONG PATH SO THEIR HOT WIND CREATE NICE BREEZE. KEEP FEW LAWYERS NEXT TO COMPOST PILE WHERE THEY BELONG. AND IN EVENING, LET SOUND OF BROS DRINKING BREWSKIS AND TELLING OF WOMAN-PURSUING ESCAPADES LULL YOU TO SLEEP.
ALL IN ALL VELOCIRAPTOR THINK MANSCAPING IS GOOD IDEA. VELOCIRAPTOR START NOW WITH REMAINS OF MAILMAN.
No comments:
Post a Comment