WHY MEATS SHOULD BE MONIES

DEAR HUMANKIND READERS

IT HAS COME TO VELOCIRAPTOR'S ATTENTION THAT BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY AMERICA HAS BEEN ECONOMICALLY PROBLEMED FOR SEVERAL YEARS.  THERE HAVE BEEN ISSUES WITH MONIES AND STOCK MARKET AND OIL AND "INTERNET BUBBLE" AND WHATNOT.

INTERNET BUBBLE?

THIS NO IS GOOD FOR BEAUTIFUL AMERICA LAND. THERE SHOULD BE LOTS OF MONIES, ENOUGH TO HELP ALL. AFTER ALL, THIS LAND OF FREE, NOT LAND OF RENT-TO-OWN.

VELOCIRAPTOR THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT MONEY PROBLEMS OF AMERICA.  AFTER MANY DELIBERATIONS AND CRANIUM-SCRATCHING HOURS, VELOCIRAPTOR HAVE COME UP WITH BRILLIANT SOLUTION:

AMERICA NEEDS MAKE MEATS THE NEW MONEY.

FIG. 1

DELECTABLE CURRENCY YES

READERS ARE HEARING VELOCIRAPTOR OUT ON THIS, YES?

VELOCIRAPTOR HAVE COMPILED MANY COMPELLING ARGUMENTS IN FAVOR OF VISIONARY NEW MONETARY CONCEPT AND LISTED THEM BELOW.

1) MONEY IS USED FOR BUYING MEATS ANYWAY

SO AMERICA SAVE TIME AND EFFORT BY CUTTING OUT MONEY FOR BUYING MEATS.  THIS MAKE LIFE MUCH EASIER.

HUMAN READER, THINK TO SELF: LET'S SAY READER READY TO GO TO BUTCHER SHOP AND ACQUIRE FLESH NUTRIENTS, BECAUSE PUNY HUMAN NO HAVE HUMONGOUS TOE-CLAWS OR SAVAGE TEETH, YES?  HUMAN READY TO GET IN AUTOMOBILE, GO TO BUTCHERMAN AND GIVE MONEY FOR MEAT -- BUT HERE PART THAT BLOW MIND -- HUMAN ALREADY HAVE MEAT BECAUSE IT IS NEW MONEY.  WOOOOOAAHHH.  HUMAN NO HAVE TO GO TO BUTCHER NOW.  AMAZING? VELOCIRAPTOR THINKS YES.

2) WALLETS ARE MEAT

 WALLETS ARE MADE OF DERMAL MATERIALS OF COW, YES?  HOW SAY, SKIN?  WELL IS COW SKIN NOT MEAT? YES, COW-SKIN IS MEAT. NOW AMERICANS CAN USE OLD COW-SKIN WALLETS FOR MONEY BECAUSE IT IS MEAT. 

FIG. 2 

BRILLIANT MONEY STORAGE IDEA

HERE VELOCIRAPTOR RECREATE MONEY STORAGE SYSTEM.  AMERICANS ARE TO BE HAVING REFRIGERAMATORS, YES?  WITH SIMPLE PIONEERING INNOVATION CREATED BY VELOCIRAPTOR, AMERICANS ARE TO BE HAVING NO WALLETS NO MORE. 

3) INFLATION IS NOW AMERICA'S GREATEST ASSET

SO VELOCIRAPTOR INTRODUCE BRILLIANT IDEA TO VARIOUS HUMANKIND PEOPLE, YES?  SOME SAY, "VERY GOOD, VELOCIRAPTOR." THESE ARE HUMANS THAT VELOCIRAPTOR PROMOTE TO SENATORS ONCE VELOCIRAPTOR ELECTED PRESIDENT FOR BRILLIANT IDEA THAT SAVE COUNTRY.

BUT SOME HUMANKIND PEOPLE SAY TO VELOCIRAPTOR, "VELOCIRAPTOR," THEY SAY, "BUT WHAT ABOUT INFLATION? WILL NOT GREAT INFLUX OF MEAT PRODUCTS AS CURRENCY CREATE DEVASTATING INFLATION UPON AMERICA?"

TO WHICH VELOCIRAPTOR NOW RESPOND: BUT THAT IS GREATEST AMERICAN ASSET. JUST LOOK BELOW:

FIG. 3

JUST LOOK AT ALL THAT AMERICAN INFLATION, YES?

HUMAN MAN HAS GREAT INFLATION.

AMERICA HAS MORE INFLATION THAN ANY OTHER HUMAN NATION EXCEPT MEXICO AND ARABIA, YES? AMERICAN MANS AND WOMANS ARE VERY INFLATED.  SO HERE WHERE THIS BECOME STRENGTH: NOW THAT MEATS ARE MONIES, AMERICA NOW HAS MUCH MORE MEATS BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE MUCH MORE INFLATED.

SOMETIMES VELOCIRAPTOR AMAZE EVEN SELF WITH SUCH GENIUS THAT VELOCIRAPTOR IS CURRENTLY DISPLAYING.

LET US USE EXAMPLE, YES.

AMERICAN MAN WISHES TO BUY BIG-SCREEN TV FOR WHICH HE SITS IN FRONT OF AND BECOMES MORE INFLATED, YES?  HE ALSO WISH TO BUY POPCORN MACHINE TO KEEP BY BIG-SCREEN TV FOR GOOD MEASURE.  AMERICAN  MAN GOES TO STORE TO ACQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT GOODS, AND SAYS TO SALESMAN, "I WISH TO ACQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT GOODS." 

 SALESMAN, WHO IS VELOCIRAPTOR, SAY TO AMERICAN MAN, "THAT WILL BE 3 INFLATIONS."  VELOCIRAPTOR REMOVE INFLATIONS FROM MAN, AND MAN GOES HOME TO WATCH BIG-SCREEN TV AND ACQUIRE EVEN MORE INFLATIONS.

(NOTE: INFLATIONS NOT TASTE AS GOOD AS DELICIOUS MEATS. INFLATIONS ARE RUBBERY AND CHEWY, AND NOT SO HIGH IN NUTRITIOUS VALUE.  THEREFORE, INFLATIONS SHOULD BE SYSTEMATICALLY CHANGED IN VALUE IN RELATION TO DELICIOUS MEATS DEPENDING ON CURRENT MARKET VALUE.

AN EXAMPLE.

SO THERE IS IDEA.  WHAT HUMANKIND THINK?  PLEASE TO BE LEAVING COMMENTS BELOW, AND ANY HUMANKIND WHO SUPPORT RADICAL BUT NECESSARY MOVEMENT CAN HAVE NAME ON BILL THAT VELOCIRAPTOR SENDS TO CONGRESS.

LET NO ONE SAY THAT VELOCIRAPTOR CARES NOT FOR THE WELFARE OF BEAUTIFUL AMERICA LAND.

-VELOCIRAPTOR